I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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