WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
