So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
