for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
