I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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