He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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