Fuck appropriateness.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
