I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
