Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
