You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
