u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
