I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
