hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
