If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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