Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
