He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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