Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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