I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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