Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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