we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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