you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
