Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
