After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
