soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
