3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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