So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
