I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
