Sponge bath it is.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
