4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
