I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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