just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Four minutes until I can fart!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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