I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
