Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
