yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
