You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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