Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
