making cat noises will not fix the situation.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
