alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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