I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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