She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
