Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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