I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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