just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
