Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
