She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Say something about gay babies.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
