Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
