The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
