No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
