I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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