I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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