WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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