There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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