Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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