think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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