Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
