was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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