a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My vagina is officially offended.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
